.Craig Cardilino
I love quotes. What’s
not to love? Things that other people
have said that sometimes relate to your life in a way that makes you feel, “Hey,
I’m not some weirdly defective person who can’t relate to other people in any
manner. This person felt the same way. ”
Sometimes I will just sit on my computer and search for
quotes on all of the Quote Websites. I don’t
want to know what possible misfortune could have fallen upon a person that
would actually make them decide to spend time creating this, but I’m happy they
did nonetheless. There are only two
types of people who would ever end up on a website that is devoted to
quotes. Bored people like me who have
truly reached the end of the Internet and are looking for any single thing to
grab their attention for 10 more minutes before they decide it’s time to go to
bed, or college students trying to write a mediocre paper on a topic they have
never cared about nor will ever think about again. Ever.
You know exactly what I’m talking about.
You need 100 more words to finish the paper so you look at some of the
arguments you made and then frantically search for any famous person to have
mentioned something about any of it.
Then you throw in the, As blah blah once said, “Every action has an
equal and opposite MC squared speed of light quotient.” This proves that not only do I know what I’M
talking about but that this dead guy agreed with me in 1723.
SAVE. SEND. C+ Booyah.
I always notice when looking at quotes that most of the
really good ones seemed to have been said over 30 years ago and further. There are usually not any good ones that are
recent. I guess when a celebrity of any
consequence dies there are the Facebook Newscasters (you know who they are) who
will not only strive to be the first to break the story on your wall, but will
also include a nice quote from the person for good measure. You know, just to increase their odds of
winning that Pulitzer. There may be a bunch
of quotes from comedians. But c’mon,
those are jokes. Jokes shouldn’t be on
quotes websites. They should be on those
other infinitely popular websites. Jokes
websites. Oh Boy.
So. In my infinite wisdom I have decided that it is time to
give these quote website people some updated and really good quotes that they
can feel free to use as long as they give me credit and also money.
Because if there’s anyone that can improve on some of the greatest
quotes in our history given to us by the great minds of the time such as Frost, Einstein, Twain, or JFK its some guy from Cleveland with a blog that is being
read by 7 people including myself 3 times and my 2 year old daughter one time
on accident.
“If you ever forget to log out of your Facebook on a public
computer, there is no one to blame but yourself for the fact that all of your
friends have confirmation that you like wieners.”
“Sometimes my iPhone does this thing where the sound won’t
work, even though I know it’s not on mute.
I hate that.”
“Anytime someone asks me for directions I always point in
any direction without even thinking first.
Because shame on them for not having GPS.”
Hmmm. This is harder than I thought it would be.
“The only way…..to truly feel happy is to get really
expensive things….. for free, like by stealing them.”
nope. Well….. hmmmm.
“Every time a politician talks, something happens that shows
that politicians are not to be trusted in some way.”
I don’t know. I’m
done.
This is dumb.
I can’t think of one single thing that's good right now. Who cares about
quotes anyway? Who cares what other
people said a long time ago? Are quotes
even useful to anyone, really? Will they make your life better in some way because some guy thought something 200 years ago?
As French
Enlightenment writer, historian, and philosopher Voltaire once said, “A
witty saying proves nothing.”
SAVE. SEND. C+
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