@MotherGoose

.Craig Cardilino


Last night I was reading my kids a Mother Goose/Nursery Rhyme book.  They thoroughly enjoyed it, obviously, but I was really disappointed in the subject matter of all these nursery rhymes.  Tuffets?  Curds and Whey?  People jumping over candlesticks?  I think it’s time for an update Mother Goose.  So, without further ado – Mother Goose meets 2012.

On her Facebook status, all Sally did was whine.

From her boyfriends a jerk, to the sun didn’t shine.

She hated all things, her food wasn’t good

The weather was crappy, her neighbors were “hood”

Anyone who read her status, including her sister

Should unfriend her quickly, and no one will miss her.

Buzzing and Rattling. Beeping and Ringing and Shaking

All day at the office John’s phone was always partaking.

Everyone wished someone would scream; to put him in his place

That is until Doug from accounting, punched John in the face.

Your homework this weekend is 200 math problems

And make sure by Monday you take time to solve em.

The kids didn't sneer or complain; not an eyelash was bat

Because, it just so happens, there’s an app for that.

iPhones are way better, Android is dumb!

iPhones are awful, Androids are more fun!

All of this arguing to see which phone is king,

A lot of commotion for phones that all do the same thing.

I have to read 200 emails and then send a text,

I have to make 21 calls and lots of stuff next.

Greg was confused why Kelly was mad,

This amount of work was really not bad.

I mean what exactly was her expectation?

Kelly just wanted to enjoy their vacation.

But I need my iPhone and I can’t live without cable!

Could I live without TIVO? I don’t think I’d be able.

Internet is a must and Netflix can’t be replaced.

No more Hulu would make all my fun be erased.

Spotify, iTunes, Tablets, Laptops, and Apps.

How else would I listen to music or use Google Maps?

When all these things are not with me, I just want to choke

One day I’ll get a job, my parents are broke.

Obviously I am no Dr. Suess, but this was a lot of fun nonetheless.  Have some of your own?  Want to give this a shot?  Leave your poems in the comments!